“Your thoughts are powerful, and you can choose the thoughts you have!” Robin emphasized. “We can build a different type of brain… to bring about better mental health.”
Executive Wellness Coach Robin Stueber recently presented a Wahine Wellness: Empowerment workshop, sponsored by Samaritan Counseling Center Hawai’i. Robin shared her personal journey of mental wellness and how it led her to a calling as a wellness coach and Positive Intelligence coach.
Robin says that our mental wellness fluctuates day by day, moment by moment. We are constantly adjusting to the competing roles in our lives, unrealistic expectations (from ourselves and others), a lack of control, and unrealistic demands.
Our negative thoughts come from our inner “Judge” (of ourselves, others, and circumstances) and nine “Saboteurs” (Avoider, Controller, Hyper-Rational, Hyper-Vigilant, Over-Achiever, Perfectionist, Pleaser, Restless, and Victim). Like an alarm turning on to wake us up or a fire alarm ringing when the temperature is too high, the stress and pain we feel alert us that we need to take action.
These negative are helpful – but only for a few seconds.
As I was listening to Robin talk about “Saboteurs,” I found myself nodding my head at times.
Yes, I can have Avoider thinking – I tend to avoid conversations and situations that might create a conflict or bad feelings. Yes, I can have Perfectionist thinking – I tend to do things so that I know they will be done “the right way.” Yes, I can have Hyper-Vigilant thinking – I tend to worry about things that could go wrong.
Building our Positive Intelligence (PQ) muscles can help us reduce stress and build mental fitness. Robin says that we can strengthen three mental muscles:
Mental muscle #1: Saboteur Intercept. Recognize our negative thoughts and do something different. By acknowledging negative thoughts, we can choose to re-direct our thoughts.
Mental muscle #2: Sage Perspective. Embrace the idea that every situation presents a gift or opportunity. What can you learn?
Mental muscle #3: Self-Command. Be intentional about taking a positive action. Instead of reacting to a situation, choose how you will act. For example, you might choose to feel empathy for yourself or others; or choose to look at the bigger picture or a future vision.
Mental fitness is not something we do once – or once in a while. We need to build a daily practice of mental fitness, one “PQ rep” at a time.
Which “Saboteurs” cause negative thoughts for you? What is one thing you can do to change the pattern of your negative thoughts?