Archive for the ‘Humor’ category

The mind of a sixth grader

March 24, 2020

 

When my son was in sixth grade, I gave him a stack of writing prompts to help him practice his essay writing and keep him busy. Here’s a glimpse into the mind of a sixth grader:

Unexpected victory

When I was in 5th and 4th grade, my class played a game called Kahoot. I had multiple great times with playing Kahoot. I also had so much fun answering questions and solving them even if I lost or won the game. Sometimes I had really big problems when I had a very salty and unhelpful. One my favorite times in Kahoot was probably my hardest challenge was when I was solo in a Kahoot game. I had no partner and everyone else did. I did not have as many points everyone else did and I yet found my way to 1st Place Victory!

Talking about the weather

My favorite kind of weather is when it rains. Or my favorite cloud are the Nimbostratus clouds. They are the puffy clouds and the produce even more rain than Stratus clouds that most people think produce the most rain. Sometimes, Nimbostratus clouds can even make it snow! I love it when it rains or snows. I love the rain when it gives the plants all their nutrients to survive. I always hear my favorite noises from the ran when it thumps on your car window and splashes in pothole puddles. I’ve always wanted to see it snow because from what I heard it is so amazing ad how much fun it is to play in it. When I played it only once, back in Pre-K, I had so much fun.

Money and happiness

I believe that money cannot be bought for happiness. I think that happiness won’t come to you, you have to do something to have fun. Although money can help you find happiness. But money is not someone or a fun event that gives you happiness. It also depends on what you buy; it could be a video games that makes you happy after building something great or having a long kill streak. Most of the times your friends and family make you happiness and fill throughout your life because they are people or things important to you.

Reasons why Dad should let me play more Minecraft with other people

* I love to interact with other people, especially my cousins.

* I love teaching them new things and show them the right things.

* Sometimes they make me realize new things and it interests me.

* I love how it is hilariously funny when they do some ridiculous weird things such as jumping into the void.

* I rarely play games with other people and it gets lonely for me when I accomplished all my achievements.

* It improves my social skills and I can make new friends.

Be calm under pressure

One of the Ted Talks I listened to today was about stress and ways to be calm when you are frustrated or under pressure. Speaker Daniel Levitin describes his experience when he was stressed when he had to prevent and fix his problem. He spent 8 hours thinking about what he should’ve done when he broke his window and forgot his passport. Daniel, a neuro scientist talked to Nobel prize winner, Danny Coleman. Danny told Daniel about a strategy to prevent stress by thinking about looking ahead about what could go wrong and think about how to reduce or incinerate the damage. This is called prospective hindsight. Solutions to loosing common items such as keys by keeping it in a common spot. You should put systems under place when you are stressed because you will not act your best.

Are you keeping a journal during these uncertain times? What do you remember from sixth grade – or wish you had written about?

The things kids say

December 3, 2019

I was driving home after picking up my 13-year old son from school, and watching him sleep in the back seat. It made me feel nostalgic for the days when he declared wild and surprising things.

Here are a few of his words of wisdom that might brighten your day:

Career plans, age 5:
“When I am 20 years old I will be a library man. When I am 30 years old — you know what I will be? I will be a spy!”

Birthday memories, age 6:
Dad: “Do you remember being in Mommy’s tummy?”
Son: “Yes.”
Dad: “What was it like?”
Son: “It was a little gooey.”

About himself, age 7
An assignment about using adjectives: “I’m small and I am stinky in the sun.”

Brains, age 7:
Son: “I was born before my brain!”
Me: “But you couldn’t talk when you were born.”
Son: “I had another brain that didn’t talk.
Me: “How did that happen?”
Son: “I was born and then another brain came to my head. Actually, I have a hundred brains because that brain has friends.”

Discovering the world, age 7:
“I’ve discovered the world and there are no werewolves.”

Time, age 8:
“A year is like a second. No, a year is like a million years!”

Bragging (or what adults call, “marketing”), age 8:
After watching a TV commercial in which people claim that they made the best chicken noodle soup: “Stop bragging, you guys! ‘Cause you’re just mean bragging about soup!”

Life, age 8:
“You know, I don’t want to have an ordinary life. I want to have an extraordinary life!”

What wild and surprising things have kids said to you?

I’m in love with the library

October 17, 2017

I appreciate everything that the Friends of Hawaii’s Public Libraries does for the community – buying books, supporting children’s events, sponsoring performances. In honor of National Friends of Libraries Week, we’re singing “Library” to the tune of Ed Sheeran’s “Shape of You.”

The club isn’t the best place to find a novel
So the library is where I go (mmmm)
Me and my Friends at the shelves choosing books
Reading fast and then we talk slow (mmmm)
And you come over with a book recommendation just for me
And trust I’ll give it a glance now (mmmm)
Hold that book, stop, get that novel from the bookshelf
And then we start to read
And now I’m singing like

[Chorus 1]
Library, I want your books
Your books are written for somebody like me
Come on now, just let me read
I will be reading, don’t mind me
Shh, Friends, let’s not talk too much
Pick up a book and read that book to me
Come on now, just let me read
Come, come on now, just let me read (mmmm)

[Chorus 2]
I’m in love with the library
We browse and borrow books we see
Although I like Amazon too
I’m in love with the library
Last night I was up too late
And now I can’t wait to debate
Every day I’m reading something brand new
I’m in love with the library

Oh I oh I oh I oh I
I’m in love with the library
Oh I oh I oh I oh I
I’m in love with the library
Oh I oh I oh I oh I
I’m in love with the library
Every day I’m reading something brand new
I’m in love with the library

One week in we let the story begin
We’re starting in our first book (mmmm)
You and me are carefree, so read all you can read
Settle your mind and settle in a Nook (mmmm)
We read for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour
Flights of fantasy, conflict and courtship (mmmm)
And pause and pick up a new book, the cover got you hooked
Libraries take you on the best trips
And I’m singing like

[Chorus 1]

[Chorus 2]

Every day I’m reading something brand new
I’m in love with the library

 

My best friends from high school is a librarian. Who is your favorite librarian? Why do you visit your favorite library?

Back to school tips for students

August 1, 2017

Guest blogger: BWL

Summer went by so quickly, and the new school year starts this month. To get us ready for back to school, I turned to my 10-year old son. In the last few weeks of fifth grade, he wrote some tips about being a good student, and I’d like to share them with you.

Tips for doing homework:

  1. Don’t stay up too late and get a good night’s sleep.
  2. Pay attention to subject lessons so you understand the test and questions.
  3. Ask other people for help on questions.

How to ace any test:

  1. Always study your test subject the night before.
  2. If you don’t understand a question or answer, don’t be afraid to ask a teacher or friend for help.
  3. Always try your hardest and pay attention during class.

Tips for public speaking:

  1. Always stay calm.
  2. Practice every day.
  3. Watch other people perform – it might give you a great idea.
  4. Even if you feel confident, always ask your coach and friends for more advice.
  5. Help your fellow public speakers.
  6. Have good posture.
  7. Speak loudly and clearly.
  8. Speak with emotion and passion.
  9. Use hand gestures and don’t fidget with your clothes.
  10. If you feel nervous, think of your audience wearing underpants!

10 ways to be awesome:

  1. Adapt to every situation and make the best of it. Always stay positive even during the darkest times.
  2. Learn something new everyday!
  3. Encourage and inspire people to do good and positive things.
  4. Have many friends, and hang around them, spend time together, and always have fun with them.
  5. Always stay cool and stay one step ahead of everyone else.
  6. Get very, very good grades and stay focused on your assignments due.
  7. Look handsome and very cute.
  8. Play nerdy and geek games such as Minecraft.
  9. Watch YouTube.
  10. Always have fun!

Are you going back to school as a student or teacher, or taking continuing education classes? What advice would you give to students today?

Bug stories

July 18, 2017

Living in Hawaii, I have a great fear and respect for bugs and insects – from ants and cockroaches (especially the bumbucha ones with wings), to the many-legged centipedes and millipedes.

Just for fun, I’m sharing some true bug stories.

Cockroach conspiracy. My rational fear of cockroaches started when I was young. I remember it clearly: I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I turned on the light, and immediate a cockroach flew straight at me. A cockroach with wings! I remember waving my hands ineffectively to try to ward off its attack, and I’m sure I screamed. I don’t remember what happened next, but to this day I try not to get up in the middle of the night. I never know whether a cockroach would fly at me in furious defiance, or scurry away so it can plan a sneak attack, or freeze, daring me to take a step closer. Did I mention it was a flying cockroach?

Cockroach boy. When my son was three years old, he saw a bug on his train tracks. He told my husband, “Pick it up! Pick it up! You a cockroach Dad!” But he picked it up himself.

Footloose. One night after dinner, as I was washing the dishes, I felt a cool sensation on my right leg. I looked down and saw the shadowy figure of a centipede! I shrieked and shook my leg furiously, dislodging the centipede. It was 4-5” long and very active! My husband chased after it with a scissors, but it disappeared into the wall or cabinet. I refused to finish washing the dishes, at least for that night. My son told me, “That’s okay. Sit down and rest,” and he kissed my cheek.

The dangers of macaroni art. In preschool, there is almost always a macaroni art project. For my son, macaroni was used to learn to count. Fast-forward a few months later, and there was a minor uproar in the house when my parents, looking at some of his projects, realized that there were small bugs (worms? maggots?) in his macaroni craft! I immediately tossed it in a trash and tied up the bag tightly.

Centipede karma. One night a centipede crawled across our family room floor. Twice I asked my husband to “get it” (take it away and make sure it never returns – don’t ask, don’t tell). Twice he procrastinated and the centipede made it to safety. A third time, the centipede struck back. My husband was lying on the floor and he suddenly started shaking his leg vigorously. I was mystified. He jumped up and shook his leg frantically, and then admitted that the centipede had crawled up his pants AND BIT HIM! Lesson learned: get the centipede before it gets you.

And last, not a bug story, but just as startling…

A baby gecko almost caused a car accident. Once when we were driving, I felt something tickling the back of my hand. I looked down and saw a baby gecko resting near my thumb. I gave a small shriek and instinctively tossed the baby gecko away – unfortunately, right toward my husband, who braked sharply. “You almost caused an accident,” he accused. “There was a gecko on my hand!” I responded reasonably. A block later, he commented, “There’s a gecko on my foot.”

Are you afraid of bugs, or are you the one everyone calls when bugs show up? Do you have any humorous or scary bug stories?

 

Clipart courtesay of All-Free-Download.com.