Single motherhood and families

Single motherhood is a social construct – and a recent one. Like the concept of the “nuclear family,” it’s a construct that exists because society and government agree that it exists.

This really stood out for me, as I listened to a presentation by Khara Jabola-Carolus, Executive Director of the Hawaii State Commission on the Status of Women.

The American nuclear family (two parents and one or more children) is not, and perhaps should not, be the “standard” or “normal” family unit.

In ancient Hawaii, single motherhood would have been unusual, if not improbable, according to Hawaiian cultural historian Adam Manalo Camp. Children were raised in a hānai family by grandparents, relatives, or close friends, while still maintaining ties with their birth parents.

In my own upbringing, I was raised by my father, my aunt, and paternal grandparents. My father had “legal custody,” but all the adults in the house and my mother helped to raise me.

And today, more families are becoming blended families, with step-children, adopted children, and foster children.

The way that Americans perceive “family” is changing, and yet American culture, the legal system, and tax systems have not changed. Jabola-Carolus shared some surprising numbers: 38% of babies are now born to unmarried women, compared to 28% in 1990.

Single mother households comprise 19% of Hawaii households (compared to 7% of single father households). Yet 80% of single mothers in Hawaii cannot afford a barebones household budget; and 87% reported that they lost access to basic needs due to COVID-19.

Single mothers often bear the greatest burden of caregiving, both for children and elderly parents; employment; and financial insecurity. They are more vulnerable than single fathers to discrimination (the stigma of single motherhood), job loss, gender-based violence, and even sexual exploitation.

This significantly affects single mothers’ mental health. And, as Jabola-Carolus pointed out, there are still huge gaps in mental health care.

How do you define family? Are you or someone you know a single mother? How can we address the challenges and barriers facing single mothers?

Explore posts in the same categories: Family, Health

Tags: Family, Hanai, Hawaii State Commission on the Status of Women, Khara Jabola-Carolus, Single Motherhood

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