Cleaning and self-care in the new year

I first heard Kumu Ramsay Taum speak at NAMI Hawaii’s 2019 “Wellness and Self-Care Conference.” He was eloquent, insightful, and charismatic as he spoke about “Ho’oponopono for Balance, Rhythm, Harmony, and Peace.”

One of the things I remember most was that he challenged our way of thinking. Instead of asking what causes us stress, he tells us to ask ourselves, “What is it about me that causes me stress?” In other words, “What is going on inside of me that is causing me to experience stress?”

If I am causing myself to feel stressed, then I have control over it.

Two years, later, after a year full of challenges and uncertainty, it’s easy to blame the pandemic for our anxiety and uncertainty. But blaming the pandemic doesn’t empower us; it helps to make us victims.

Earlier this month, Kumu Ramsay offered a special “Ho’oponopono Cleansing” that he hoped would “help relieve and release the stress that can disrupt physical, mental and spiritual health, balance and peace in this new year.”

He shared thoughts about the Lady of Freedom and led us through a Ho’oponopono Cleansing, as taught by Kahuna La’au Lapa’au Morrnah Simeona. “What we’re seeing outside of us is a reflection what is inside of us,” he stated.

A critical part of cleansing involves forgiveness, for ourselves and by ourselves, as individuals and as families and communities. Please forgive us and our ancestors for what we have done, by word, deed, or inaction… and we forgive you and your ancestors for what you have done, by word, deed, or inaction.

Participate in the “Ho’oponopono Cleansing” on Kumu Ramsay’s YouTube page at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egg0c7esrtg&feature=youtu.be

He challenges us to “Learn to be, rather than trying to become.”

For specific strategies for coping with stress and anxiety, join Mental Health America of Hawaii for a free online training on “Tips and Strategies for Surviving and Thriving” on Friday, February 12, 2021 at 12 pm HST. You will learn self-care tips, mental health strategies, and resources for community members, including our most vulnerable, who may have pre-existing mental health challenges. Register online.

Who can you forgive today for their words, actions, or inactions? Who will you seek forgiveness from? What change can you make to take care of yourself and thrive?

Poetry: Homecoming

Autumn Reflection by RLC

Homecoming
by RLC

Night casts long shadows across the plain.
How far from home I have traveled,
So that I do not recognize these mountains
Or this sea. The waves sing yearningly.
I long for the seas of my homeland,
I ache for the mountains and valleys.
Take me tenderly into the wind,
That I may once more return to those
I left behind so eagerly.

Dawn casts soft gleamings across the road.
So elusive and tempting, may it lead me back
Across the plains, to the land of my heart.
May it guide me to the mountains and valleys
And to the one I love, who sheltered me.
Cradle me, secure me from ice and fire
In the warmth of my homeland,
In the embrace of those I left behind,
I now return so eagerly.

“The Truth about Leadership” by James M Kouzes and Barry Z Posner

“The Truth About Leadership: The No-Fads, Heart-of-the-Matter Facts You Need to Know” (2010) by James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner is a short, easy-to-read collection of “fundamental principles that inform and support the practice of leadership,” based on the “Leadership Practices Inventory,” a learning assessment tool used in 70+ countries.

Based on the idea is that leadership can be learned, Kouzes and Posner identify 10 fundamental truths about leadership:

1. You make a difference. Leadership starts by looking inward, taking the first step, and becoming a role model for others. “It’s about what you do.” If you manage others, you have a big impact on their commitment to the company, productivity, and job satisfaction.
2. Credibility is the foundation of leadership. Leadership continues only if other people also believe in you. You must be honest, forward-looking, inspiring, and competent. The key is to align your actions and words (do what you say you will do).
3. Values drive commitment. Clarity about personal values has the most significant impact on employees’ feelings about their work. Before you can effectively lead others, you have to understand who you are and what you believe in. Leaders gain consensus on common values and a common cause.
4. Focusing on the future sets leaders apart. Look beyond what’s in front of you and imagine possibilities. Remind people that there is a larger purpose. Remain optimistic about what is yet to come.
5. You can’t do it alone. Leadership is about the relationship between leaders and their constituents. You have to make a human connection and inspire a shared vision. It is critical to build a team of people who feel powerful and capable of taking action.
6. Trust rules (no, this doesn’t mean put your trust in rules). High trust leads to greater influence on group members, greater cooperation, enhanced information flow, and increased willingness to become better group members. People won’t take risks unless they feel safe. The more people trust, the more they’ll risk. Leaders are the first to trust. You can build trust by behaving predictably and consistently, communicating clearly, treating promises seriously, and being forthright and candid.
7. Challenge is the crucible for greatness. Leadership is about guiding people through uncertainty and change; or in complacent times, about actively disrupting the status quo to pursue new opportunities. People with grit (perseverance and passion) are more likely to achieve positive outcomes and see failure as learning.
8. You either lead by example or you don’t lead at all. People are always watching, and your actions have to be consistent with your words. Take responsibility for your mistakes and accept feedback.
9. The best leaders are the best learners. Leadership can be learned and the capacity for learning begins with a growth mindset – the belief that we can become better leaders. It requires deliberate practice and a supportive environment, with five elements of learning: it is designed specifically to improve performance; it has to be repeated a lot; feedback on results must be continually available; it is highly demanding mentally; it isn’t all that much fun).
10. Leadership is an affair of the heart. The highest performing managers and learners are the most open and caring. Show people you care by paying attention to them. Fall in love with the work you are doing and the purpose you are serving. Positive leadership breeds positive emotions.

What kind of leader are you? What leadership skills can you put into practice today?

Better Hawaii’s best books of 2020

Books are my favorite hobby, and the stay-at-home orders gave me time to catch up on my reading (though there’s never enough time for good books).

In 2020, I indulged in escapist fiction and was drawn to books about coping with adversity, doing the right thing, loyalty, and fighting for those you love.

Here are 5 of the best books that I read in 2020:

* “Inspiring Women of Hawai’i” (2019) by Dr. Loretta Chen
A collection of honest, inspiring interviews with 24 women in Hawai’i, including politics, entrepreneurs, pioneers, artists, activists, and social services. Interviewer Dr. Loretta Chen explains that she knew from experience that “some of our biggest trials and tribulations are our own best teachers, and that most illuminating conversations were not always the most comfortable.” Three common themes: the understanding that women can have a career and be a mother if they have a strong support system; the importance of scholarship pageants (formerly called beauty pageants) in giving women support for higher education, experience with public speaking, and opportunities for community service; and the power of saying “yes” to new opportunities.

“Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know” (2019) by Malcolm Gladwell
An attempt to understand what really happened by the side of the highway that day in rural Texas, July 10, 2015, between police officer Brian Encinia and Sandra Bland, who committed suicide in her jail cell three days later, to identify the strategies we use to translate one another’s words and intentions, and figure out how to fix them. The two challenges we face: First, why can’t we tell when the stranger in front of us is lying to our face? Second, why are the people who are deceived the ones you’d expect not to be while those who see the truth are the ones you’d think would be deceived?

* “Crescent City” (House of Earth and Blood #1) by Sarah J. Maas
A romantic urban fantasy about fighting for freedom, redemption, survivor’s guilt, seeing who people really are, believing that “through love, all things are possible,” self-sacrifice, redemption, and holding on to the people you love, and trusting that things happen for a reason.

* “Network Effect” (Murderbot #5) by Martha Wells
A science fiction novel about the family you choose (“my humans”), treating all beings as individuals with rights and free will, learning what you want, accepting that change can be terrifying, self-sacrifice, and of course the importance of watching media.

* “Age of Deception” (Firebird Chronicles #2) by TA White
A romantic science fiction adventure about making the most of your talents, trust, choosing what affects you in life, finding where you belong, doing the right thing, loyalty, secrets that are not yours to share, and protecting those in your care.

Which books engaged you in recent months? Which books do you plan to read this year?

Happy reading and happy new year!