Re-imagining homes after COVID-19 Re-imagining homes after COVID-19

Starting tomorrow, December 1, 2021, the Safe O’ahu Response Plan allows expanded operations. We’ll be able to have more social gatherings, more access to parks and recreation, restaurants and attractions and personal care services.

Some people are excited to be able to go out more freely again. Some people were able to work from home at times, and are reluctant to start commuting again, five days a week. Some people had positive COVID-19 results and self-quarantined until things were better.

Thinking about the greater freedom to leave home made me start wondering… how could homes and offices be re-designed to take into account the dangers of viruses and diseases?

Cleaner and convenient living. Construction companies and property developers may already be designing homes with built-in air filtration systems to keep the air cleaner, central vacuum systems to remove dust and particles, and radiant cooling systems to keep the house cooler, especially in Hawaii.

Modular living areas. Instead of bedrooms designed around a common living room or great room, homes could be designed with a central entryway and self-contained areas. Like a dormitory or residential hotel, each area could have its own bathroom and kitchenette, and could be isolated from the rest of the house.

There could also be a trend towards building dumb-waiters, those small elevators traditionally used to move food from a lower-level kitchen to an upper-level dining area.

At work, this could mean a return to cubicle living. The open floor plans and shared work spaces may be replaced with cubicles, the business version of “social distancing.” I’ve worked in cubicles, and the one benefit of cubicles is the ability to personalize your space. We may see more cubicle decorating contests.

Social spaces outdoors. There may be a revival of patios and porches, places where people can sit outside and talk to people walking by. I know people who met their neighbors for the first time during the pandemic, because everyone was at home. And maybe more homeowners will be interested building a social courtyard on their garage, where they can have open-air gatherings. This would be one way to add more functional space, without adding to the square footage of the house.

Nature indoors. Instead of looking at nature from inside our homes, more homes may bring nature in-doors. There may be more interest in desktop greenhouses, hanging planters suspended from the ceilings, vertical gardens growing on the walls, and rooftop or garage-top gardens. Imagine if you could have solar panels on the roof, a walk-up garden on the garage, a countertop greenhouse, and a rain barrel in the back yard.

P.S. The nature indoors idea sounds good, but it’s not for me. I’m not good with plants, I’m not interested in learning to be good, and bugs scare me.

Speaking of nature, new public parks could decide to plant different types of grasses in different sections, to subtly encourage physical distancing. It may be too difficult to maintain.

Have you made any changes to your home to cope with the pandemic and stay-at-home order? What changes would make it more comfortable to live and work from home?

Being thankful and sharing thanks

Gratitude, whether a written letter, spoken aloud, or shown through acts of kindness, can have a tremendous impact on someone’s life. It strengthens both the giver and the receiver.

On this Thanksgiving, when we are cautiously coming together again, I wanted to again share a moment when I saw the powerful effect of a gratitude letter.

Originally posted on November 20, 2018.

She had tears in her eyes as she listened to my son read a letter to her. It was part of a seventh grade “gratitude letter” project. My son chose to write to his fourth grade teacher, telling her how much he appreciated her and how she had a positive impact on him.

Sitting at a nearby table to give them privacy, I witnessed first-hand the power of expressing gratitude.

It took trust for his teacher to meet him, without knowing why they were meeting. It took courage for my son to read a gratitude letter out loud to his teacher, not knowing how she would react. He didn’t even let me read it before setting up the meeting with her.

Later, she came up to me and told me that she had recently been feeling a little down about teaching, and my son reminded her that teaching is so worthwhile.

This experience reminded me that while we have many people and things to feel grateful for, we also need to share thankfulness with other people.

A gratitude letter is both simple and powerful.

1. Reflect on someone who helped you or did something for you, someone you are grateful for but to whom you may not have expressed your gratitude. It could be a relative, friend, teacher, mentor, neighbor, or colleague – anyone who has touched your life.
2. Write a letter to that person, describing what they did, why are you are grateful, and how their actions affected your life.
3. Ask to meet with them, without telling them why you want to meet, and read your letter to them in person.

In our everyday lives, we can also take time to reflect on who we are grateful for and what we are grateful for. But the biggest impact comes from sharing our thankfulness with others.

This is the kind of experience that Thanksgiving creates for us. It’s a time to both feel thankful and show our thankfulness. (And maybe it’s a little about food, pie, and football).

Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thankfulness.

Who are you thankful for right now? How will you show your thankfulness and thanksgiving?

“Think Again” by Adam Grant

In education and learning, we are promoting a “growth mindset” – praising hard work and effort, rather than a “fixed mindset” that focuses on innate ability. It’s based on the idea that the brain is a muscle and we can strengthen our skills and learn from failure.

So as a parent, I try to emphasize hard work and effort – saying, “you put a lot of work into that” or “you spent a lot of time on that,” rather than, “you’re smart.”

In business and leadership, we have a different set of mindsets, according to Adam Grant in “Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know” (2021). These mindsets reflect how we lead organizations and respond to challenges.

“Intelligence is traditionally viewed as the ability to think and learn,” Grant writes. “Yet in a turbulent world, there’s another set of cognitive skills that might matter more: the ability to rethink and unlearn.”

According to Grant, there are 4 mindsets:

• Preachers: they protect and promote ideas, no proof required
• Prosecutors: they recognize the flaws in others’ reasoning
• Politicians: they seek approval
• Scientists: they experiment and seek evidence

Which mindset do you think is the best way to challenge assumptions and adapt to change?

Of course, Grant champions the scientist mindset, stating, “We need to develop the habit of forming our own second opinions” and become comfortable with “the discomfort of doubt.”

Think about the biggest disruption in our lives, the COVID-19 pandemic. Leaders rely on data (evidence), such as new case numbers and vaccination rates, to make decisions about opening businesses, wearing masks, and limiting social gatherings. Leaders experiment with new business tactics, from working remotely to pivoting to video conference meetings; or new business models, like creating masks and cleaning products.

Grant offers several tips to help convince people to change their mindset and embrace change. It all starts with making it clear that we respect the other person. Here are a few of those tips:

• Reinforce what will stay the same. “Although our strategy might evolve, our identity will endure.”
• Find common ground. Emphasize common ground, present the strongest reasons, and ask questions. Identify the core values and goals that everyone can agree upon.
• Acknowledge complexity. Frame issues as complex (with many perspectives) instead of binary (two sides). Look beyond solutions that are either-or.
• Ask questions. Ask someone, “What evidence would change your mind?” Ask yourself, “What evidence would change my mind?”

Confidence can make us complacent, Grant warns. He suggests that we should aim for an attitude of “Confident Humility,” being confident in our ability to achieve our goal, while maintaining the humility to question whether we have the right tools. It can help us re-think our strategy and let go of things that are not working.

Change is scary, but the more we re-evaluate things in our life and career, the less scary it can become. We don’t need a major disruption to embrace change.

What makes you re-consider a belief or idea? Can you share a time when you have re-thought a decision in your life or re-evaluated a strategy at work?

Journaling with kids

When my son was 4 years old, he started a “Field Trip Journal.” I told him that whenever we go to the museum, the aquarium, the zoo, and other special events, he would draw something interesting or memorable about the trip, and write a short description of it.

I thought it would be a good way to let him express himself with art, practice writing, help him remember special moments – and teach a little discipline too.

His first drawing was a picture of himself with his name and age. He drew a circle head, eyes, ears, and mouth; hair that extended around the entire face; and lines representing his legs starting from his head, and lines representing his arms extending from his legs.

Our first field trip was to the Bishop Museum. We were both tired, so I suggested that we sit near the tree house and he could draw the volcano. He drew a small volcano and lay down on a bean bag chair, and his exhaustion dropped away when another boy plopped down beside him. They had a lot of fun falling onto the bean bag chair.

At the Dinosaurs Unearthed exhibit, he drew a dinosaur, its tail and teeth, and a tree so it could have some shade. He wanted to draw one of the flying dinosaurs too, but after looking at his picture, he added two wheels and said it was a car.

After another field trip, “Book Time with Ronald McDonald” at the library, he drew a “McDonald girl” in his field trip journal. When I pointed out that Ronald McDonald is a boy, he said that there was a girl “in my imagination.”

After a few months, we practiced writing sentences. A year later, and I could see the change in his drawings: people had bodies, and there was more detail and background details.

When he was 5 years old, we went to Iolani Palace for an Easter Egg Hunt. When we got home, I showed him a picture of himself standing in front of the Coronation Pavilion (I called it the bandstand). He drew a picture, and then exclaimed, “It looks like real life!” 

The journals ended when he started First Grade. He had a wonderful teacher, Ms. Denny, who challenged the students with vocabulary and writing.

Do you keep a journal or diary? How do you feel when you look back at things you wrote when you were younger?

Finding your purpose at work

Recently, my co-worker informed me that she needed to a medical leave of absence for three weeks. At first I felt overwhelmed. I didn’t know how we could finish our daily work and year-end projects.

Then I took some deep breaths. I had just attended a “Purpose Workshop” led by Cyrus Howe of Blue Zones Hawaii, which helped me shift my thinking. My co-worker’s time off could be a way for me to get “back to basics” and prioritize what’s important. It could even be a “break” from more stressful responsibilities. Instead of a hardship, it could be an opportunity.

Blue Zones describes purpose as “the inward intent that drives our outward actions.”

Our lives are a constant “life spiral” of triggering events and life changes that can knock us off course. Purpose is what helps make choices and take action to create the next stage of life.

Purpose = Gifts + Passions + Values. “You heed your purpose when you offer your gifts in service to something you are passionate about in an environment that is consistent with your core values.”

We started by identifying our gifts from a set of 52 “Calling Card Statements” – the things that we do best and the things we do when we enter a state of “flow” and get lost in a task. Identifying our gifts can help us identify new opportunities when we lose a job, are considering a career change, retire, or choose a volunteer opportunity. For example, Analyzing Information, Empowering Others, Designing Things, Healing Wounds, Getting Things Right, and Fixing Things.

Each of the statements describe “callings” in six broad areas: Investigative, Enterprising, Artistic, Social, Structured, and Realistic. And each of the statements are open to your interpretation. So if you enjoy telling jokes, you could interpret it as Adding Humor, Bringing Joy, Shaping Environments, or any number of statements. The hardest part was narrowing down the statements to the five that resonated most with me.

We spent a little time considering what we are passionate about. It’s helpful to ask yourself, “Where do you spend your time and money on?”

Then Cyrus asked us to think about the people who can be our “Purpose Sounding Board.” People who live with purpose can’t do it alone, he told us. We need people who can help us clarify and commit to our purpose. We need committed listeners, role models, catalysts, and thinking partners – people who will support and call us out when we are not living with purpose.

And finally we put it all together with a Purpose Statement: With my gifts of (Calling Cards #2-5), I am here to (Calling Card #1) for the benefit of (how you wish to share your gifts).

Here is my draft purpose statement: With my gifts of creating things, building trust, making things work, and making connections, I am here to build relationships for the benefit of helping people feel resilient and empowered.

The statement resonates with me right now, and will help me get through the coming weeks with hope and optimism.

You can sign up for a free Purpose Workshop with Blue Zones Hawaii and reflect on your purpose in life and work.

What is your purpose? How has it helped you get through challenging times? Are there actions you can take right now to strengthen your purpose?